More About Sponsors

Sponsors are there to support and guide you and it is important that you realise that it is you who has to put in the leg work. They can do the journey with you and be there for you but they cannot do it for you. In the end, it will be up to you whether or not you have a fulfilled and successful recovery. Sponsors are also human beings.

While you should be careful who you decide to ‘appoint’ as your sponsor, ensuring that they have completed the 12 Step Programme, work it on a daily basis and have a good solid sobriety behind them, this does not mean that they will never relapse. All of recovering alcoholics and addicts have it in us to relapse if we do not work our programme and do as suggested. You will always be able to find someone in recovery who has gone through the experience of having had a sponsor who relapsed, meaning that they had to find a new one.

Sponsors are there to Fulfill a Role

Your sponsor is not expected to be your new best friend. He or she may become a good friend in the fullness of time but do not put this expectation on them. They are there to fulfil a role and provide a service and it may be that that is all they want to do. Or all you will want or need from them. They are not trained counsellors or therapists and do not get paid for their time. A paid counsellor may be prepared to listen to you moaning on and repeating yourself. Complaining about all your problems and issues.

A good sponsor will only put up with so much before advising you to get on with whatever step you are on. Read the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous or write a gratitude list. They will tell us what to do about our problems – and we can take that advice or leave it. One of the unique things about your sponsor as opposed to a counsellor is that they have the benefit of experience in addiction. From their experience they know what active addiction and the early and later days of recovery feel like. No theory or books can give them that.

Natural End

At some point it is likely that your time with your sponsor will come to a natural end. It is unusual to have the same sponsor for the rest of your life. Maybe you will move somewhere or your sponsor will. Maybe you will find that you come to the end of your natural working life together. That you will no longer ‘gel’ in the way you used to. There is no need to be alarmed by this.

You should just treat the situation in a mature way. Say thank you and immediately take steps to find a new sponsor, picking up in your step work where you have left off. You may have to repeat some parts or steps if your new sponsor works differently to your old one. But this is all part of your learning experience in recovery.

Nothing is ever worth sliding back into your old ways for. Enjoy your time spent with your sponsor(s) and enjoy the learning experience.

If you have an alcohol or drug related problem. Please call 01462 851414 for free and confidential advice and help.

More About Sponsors