Stick with the Same Sex – in early Addiction Recovery

In your early days in recovery meetings, it is advisable to make friends only with members of the same sex as you. This might go against the grain in some way. Especially if you have always been good friends with the opposite sex and naturally are inclined to mix with people of the opposite sex. However, it is good advice as it avoids problems down the line. Should any of these friendships lead to encounters of a romantic nature. There are two things to remember here.

Vulnerable

people

First, in early addiction recovery you yourself are vulnerable. You may not feel like it and may feel that you can conquer the world with your new found energy. Optimism for your future. Care for your appearance and return of some self esteem. Please believe me, you are. Some of the first sensations and feelings that will return to you are attraction to the opposite sex. Feelings that have probably been long submerged in the fog of alcohol or drugs.
I had only been in a rehab clinic for about 2 weeks before I noticed the spark of interest in the opposite sex returning.

Rehab

I arrived in rehab with very little interest in anything, wearing old clothes that were hanging off me as I had lost weight I could ill afford to lose, and having not had my hair styled for some weeks. Before my addiction took over – as now – I had taken some pride in my appearance. One of the things I love is my jewellery, most notably my earrings. Without my earrings, I do not feel properly dressed and I take care each day selecting them to match my outfit (often colour matched).

It says a great deal about my state of mind that I arrived in rehab in a green top (I remember it well) with a pair of pinky purple earrings on. I was also holding my hairbrush as I realised at the last minute as I left the house. I had no other earrings with me, no make up and a random selection of clothes shoved into a suitcase.

Sobering Up

As I sobered up and felt better, I became very conscious of my earrings which matched nothing else I had with me! I was in a clinic with 3 other men and one woman of a similar age and one older man. We all grew close and I began to quite like one of the men in particular.

I sent home for my make up, some other earrings, some nice nightwear and my mind was off about the possibility of pairing off with this man. As it turned out, nothing happened and he became a lifelong friend. The thing to note is how quickly I changed in how I was thinking.

Stay Safe

It is not just you who might pose a danger in this direction. Recovery meetings attract all sorts of people and some of the opposite sex may be there for matters other than just keeping sober. So be careful, stay safe rather than sorry. It is well known that in early recovery. New relationships are a bad idea which often lead to relapse.

Please call the Haynes Clinic on 01462 851414 for help and advice.