Never get Complacent About Our Recovery from Addiction
My brother got into recovery before I did and I remember being surprised that, 5 years in, he still attended meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous. At that point, I thought that you would go to AA to get sober but then you would be ‘cured’ – a common misconception. I still finding it irritating when people say ‘is she an ex?’ (meaning a recovering alcoholic or addict) as if it is somewhere in the past and finished with. I also find the people who are active in AA or NA and say they are recovered irritating too. I know that I should look after myself and just accept it but that it how I feel – I think it is dangerous to talk like this.
Why? Because if we fool ourselves into thinking we are ‘cured’, ‘ex’ or ‘recovered’, we may become complacent and relapse. We may forget how bad it was for us and only remember the happy drinking or using days. Our memories often play tricks like this and it is all too easy to think back to the past when all was seemingly wonderful. I can only remember happy days at school and university. Logically I know that not everyday was wonderful and there were bad days amongst the good.
Don’t be Complacent
I could easily have similar hazy happy memories about my drinking days, remembering the lovely convivial evenings, lunches, parties, Christmas’s spent in a happy relaxed haze, laughing and having fun. I absolutely know it would not be like that if I started drinking again. Why? Because I am not complacent.
So how do we avoid becoming complacent? We have to keep going to meetings and there we will meet people and hear people sharing who are still struggling to stop drinking or using or who are new in recovery. They remind us how bad it can be. In turn we can share our ‘experience, strength and hope’ with them. We have to keep in a strong relationship with our sponsor, keep focused and keep working the programme. We must continually recognise our powerlessness over drink and drugs, seek the help of a higher power, deal with our resentments on a daily basis, share the message and keep a healthy gratitude list going.
Don’t Stop Coming Back to Meetings
Too often I have been at meetings at which people have shared that they had been 10 or more years sober (even over 20 sometimes). They have relapsed due to not continuing to attend meetings and work the programme. They have thought they knew enough about themselves now to control their drinking or using. Only to quickly discover that they cannot and they are back in their misery of before. If not worse. They feel getting back into addiction recovery is even harder this time and fear they do not have another recovery in them. That is scary.
It could so easily be me. As Christmas approaches I occasionally get a thought of a nice Christmas glass of sherry – or champagne or wine. I need to keep my ears open, listen to people new in recovery, remember how bad it was for me. NEVER let complacency make me vulnerable.
If you have an alcohol, gambling or drug related problem. Please call 01462 851414 for free and confidential advice and help.
