What is a sponsor?
Everyone working a Twelve Step Programme and attending Alcoholics anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous (or any other recovery meetings) should have a sponsor. A sponsor is a guide who will take you through the Twelve Steps and be there for you throughout your recovery. Having a sponsor is particularly important in your early recovery as your sponsor will support you through any difficulties and will also be in your first line of defence if you are feeling like having another drink or drug. They will help you with any questions you might have (however daft you may think they sound). All sponsors will be themselves in recovery, usually from alcohol if you are an alcoholic, or drugs if you are an addict. They will have been through the Twelve Step programme themselves and will pass on their experience of the twelve steps and recovery to you.
What is it like working with a sponsor?
Sponsors vary in how quickly they take you through the twelve steps. Some will do it in the way they like best – which might be a fairly rigid way e.g. they may take you through a formal and structured programme. Others will be more flexible and may adapt entirely to suit your needs. Some will advise you attend 90 minutes in 90 days. Others may insist you telephone them everyday in recovery, perhaps just to ‘check in’ and see how you are. Once you have got to step 10, some sponsors like you to telephone them every day with your personal inventory of your day and will want you to do this in a specific way. Some may offer feedback and advice on your inventory; others may not comment and may be just as happy for you to record your inventory on an answer a phone.
Long term sponsors
I am now in my fifth year of recovery and have had the same sponsor during that period. We went through the steps together to start with and I found that it worked better for me if I had a regular time to see her. We selected Sunday afternoon as usually a good time for both of us. Now I see her as often as I can on a Sunday and we just have a catch up about the events of my week. As I talk them through, I usually find her input, wisdom and advice useful – even when I was not aware that I needed it! The important thing is to be honest with your sponsor at all times.
My sponsor also helps by recommending me literature to read on the recovery programme. She has herself been in recovery for over 20 years so she also recognises when she is not the best person to advise me. In those instances, she can usually recommend someone who can help from her vast recovery network.
More recently, these Sunday afternoon meetings with my sponsor have been more two way in terms of what we get out of the meeting. Although my sponsor has her own sponsor, we occasionally talk about issues in her life and I am able to provide input. She also particularly shares about issues that we are both facing together.
Such a mature relationship is usually much further down the line and in early recovery the most important thing is to find a sponsor who can be a good teacher, guide and support.
If you have an alcohol or drug related problem, please call 01462 851414 for free and confidential advice and help.
