Getting Through ‘first’ Occasions Sober
It can be quite daunting in early recovery to face all those occasions that we traditionally used for a good old drinking session, and knowing we are not going to drink. For those of you who are in the first couple of months in recovery, you may already have had to get through your first sober Christmas and your first sober new year. Or perhaps you are now in the first weeks of your recovery because these were far from sober occasions and they were ruined by your drinking or using.
If you are tempted to think it is going to be awful being sober on so called special occasions you need to remember how often those so called special occasions were spoiled by your drinking or using. Not just for you but for many people around you.
Personal Occasions
So we have to face not only the occasions which everyone celebrates such as Christmas and New Year, but the personal occasions too. Such as birthdays, funerals and other occasions at which we would have had a drink or drug to help us face them – and we have to face them clean and sober. We also have to cope with the ‘firsts’ in recovery – the first argument or break up with a partner, the first really bad day at work etc etc – and all without blurring it all out with a drink or drug.
How do we do it?
So how do we do this? First we have to face the fact that all these occasions were in the past an excuse to have a drink or even more to drink than usual – as if we needed one. We did not treat them as special days. Rather we wasted them or spoiled them like many other so-called ordinary days. By staying sober, we actually have a chance of enjoying and appreciating a special day with a clear head. While at the same time making it a pleasant experience for those around us too.
People Don’t Care You Aren’t Drinking
Second, surprising as it is in early recovery. We discover that while we are worrying about not drinking, who will notice, what will they say etc etc. For most other people this is not important. It is only us who obsess about alcohol, who is drinking what and how much etc. Most other people don’t notice and don’t care as they are not alcoholics. Most of them can have one or two drinks and then just stop! Amazing.
Have a back up plan
However, if you are still worried about surviving a special occasion without a drink, then have a back up plan in place. Arrive a little late and leave a little early. Have your car available so you can get away if necessary. And have a reason ready to use. Even better, go with a sober friend who does not need to drink to get some back up and support.
As time goes by you will not find these occasions so daunting and will begin to enjoy them. You will also enjoy being able to remember everything the next day and not to have a hangover!
Good luck and enjoy!
