Can addicts control their drinking or using?
Can addicts control their drinking or using? Most people who drink too much or who use drugs to excess will at some point try to control their drinking or using or try to cut it down. If they succeed on a long term basis, all well and good. They may just be heavy drinkers or users who can cut down and stop. However, ‘proper’ alcoholics and addicts will not be able to control their drinking and using on a sustainable basis. As alcoholics and addicts we are totally powerless over our drinking or using. Once we have had that first drink or drug, we have to have more. And once we have more, we become out of control, unreliable, embarrassing, chaotic, possibly angry, defensive, miserable….
Abstinence is the answer
So total abstinence is the only answer. But even this is not that easy if it means using our will power to avoid drinking or using. We are not weak people. So it is possible to stop and stay stopped by using our will power for a period of time. We will feel physically and mentally better for doing so.
However, the effort required on a day to day basis is too much for us to keep it up for ever. I used to think that using will power each day was what ‘one day at a time’ meant. And I have to say, I thought that this was quite a miserable prospect for my long term future – clinging on day by day. I now know better! A day at a time actually means enjoying the present. And not dwelling on the future – not worrying about what might never happen. We just have to cope with what we are faced with today.
Accepting the addiction
There is a subtle but massive difference between using will power to fight our addiction and accepting that the fight is over. Accepting our addiction or surrendering to it is the true beginning of our recovery. This might involve not hanging around with our former drinking or using friends. It might involve disposing of our prized wine collection or our stash of drugs . Even if it has cost us a lot to obtain it. If we hold on to our alcohol, drugs (and paraphernalia) or pills – just in case – we have not truly accepted that we will not drink or use again.
If we cannot get to this point ourselves, we may have to go to a private drug and alcohol rehab clinic in order to get a full understanding of our powerlessness. And to get the insight we need to be happy, alcohol and drug free.
Learning to live clean
This will enable us to feel our feelings. And start to deal with them. And with normal life without using alcohol or a drug. We will learn to ask for help and enjoy normal human interaction with other clean and sober people. We should begin to feel spiritually alive, enjoying nature, the seasons, the birds singing, the beauty of the sunrise, sunset etc.
Acceptance that we are an alcoholic or addict, that we are powerless over mood altering substances, that our lives are chaotic and unmanageable and that we need help – that will be at the core of our recovery and new peaceful life.
