The 12 Days of Christmas is a well known phenomenon celebrated in the song, on Christmas cards and in many other ways. ‘My True Love’ gave many gifts ranging from a partridge in a pear tree’ to ‘5 Gold rings’. And including ‘9 ladies dancing, 10 lords a leaping, 11 pipers piping and 12 drummers drumming’.
Different meaning to 12 days of Christmas
As someone who used to drink a fair bit every day of the year but who would particularly overindulge at Christmas, I certainly enjoyed dancing. Though I am not sure you would have thought me a lady. There may also have been a fair bit of leaping around boisterously. And the pipes and drums were probably in my head the next morning.
Now the magic number 12 means something else. The drinking has stopped I am pleased to say. As it means I do not put myself at risk and let myself down in front of family and friends. Instead I am following the 12 Step Programme of Recovery.
Steps to recovery
So step 1 – I acknowledge that I am an alcoholic. Even though I no longer drink. If I did I would have no control over my drinking. And my life would become chaotic and unmanageable again. I would be unreliable and unforgetful as alcohol would take the priority slot in my life.
Steps 2 and 3 – I cannot get or stay sober on my own. I am not a weak person. In fact quite the opposite, I can be ‘determined’, stubborn and full of ‘self will’. But while I may be able to stop drinking through pure will power, it is not sufficient to stay stopped. Will power means making an effort all day every day to stay sober. It is miserable and no way to live. Inevitably there will come a day when it does not work. So we have to find another way and that is through the help and support of others. And through something other than determination. A spiritual help from a ‘god of our understanding’ (not necessarily a religious God).
Changing old behaviours and moving forward
Steps 4 and 5 – I conducted a thorough analysis of my personal characteristics (good and bad) and admitted the harms I had done in the past. I shared the truth about myself with another human being which really freed me up. To finally acknowledge who I truly was and what I regretted in my life.
Step 6 and 7 – I really wanted to change these less pleasant aspects of my character so I ‘prayed’ for them to go. Of course this does not happen overnight but now I acknowledge them e.g. my pride, arrogance, thinking I am always right etc – at least I can recognise those not very pleasant traits when they start to surface.
Steps 8 and 9 – in order to really move forward comfortably in my life, having acknowledged all my past wrongdoings in steps 4 and 5, I decided to do something about them. So I made a list of all the people I had harmed and I tried to do something about it. I said sorry where appropriate. And I did good turns and made it up to people. I returned money borrowed and not paid back. And I made donations to charity if that made sense and I put flowers on the grave if the person had since died.
Reflecting on the actions
Step 10. I now live each day reviewing my experiences and actions at the end of each one, checking I have done right by people and, if not, saying sorry and making it up to them straight away. That way I do not carry guilt, shame, anger and resentment for days on end and I wake up each day with a clear conscience, knowing I am living my life with integrity and honesty each day. It makes me feel free.
Step 11 – I keep in contact with my inner spirit and higher power each day to try and keep my life on a positive track.
Step 12 – I hope that the way I live my life is an example to others – so I tell them about my life and how it has changed and what I had to do to change it.
So 12 Days of Christmas? A nice tradition for the time of year. 12 Steps of Recovery? A way of living my life which has brought me freedom from alcoholism and change in my life beyond my wildest dreams.