‘Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty’. This quote is attributed to Thomas Jefferson and is very apt for Step 10. We would all like everyone who does wrong to admit they have done it and to do something about it. We are often less good at doing this for ourselves.
Step 10 of the 12 Step Programme is a mini version on a daily basis of steps 4 and 5 when we did a full inventory of our lives to date, identified the part we had played in any of the debris of our past and shared our shortcomings with someone else. Someone once described these steps to me as like taking an audit of a shop. You look at what you have in stock and what you want to keep because it will sell well. You get rid of the old stuff that is damaged, rotting, out of date or past its shelf life. It’s a bit like admitting you have made a bad buy and returning it straight away, giving it away or selling it on.
Our Side of The Street Clean
Step 10 is about keeping our side of the street clean. We cannot control anyone or anything else around us but we can make sure that we are living honestly. Without letting the more negative aspects of our character do damage. Want to cause as little pain and do as little damage as possible in our lives.
We need to look daily at our thoughts and motives, our words and our actions – something that will be familiar to Christian church goers who in the confession admit that they have ‘sinned’ in thought, word and deed’. The person we are has its very foundation in our thoughts – we are what we think . If we watch out for what we think – and don’t develop the habit of ‘stinking thinking’, then usually what we say and what we do will turn out all right. But we have to be so careful! For example, we may do someone a good turn – but then be tempted to tell everyone we have done it because it makes us look and feel good.
What is Said Cannot be Unsaid
What is said cannot be unsaid – I try and always remember that one. Think before you speak! If you do say something you regret, then apologise and make amends Even if the person you said it to is still upset or affronted, at this point the only thing you can do is what is right. to keep your side of the street clean to keep your recovery on a solid foundation. Another beware, though. Beware that you are not making an amends because you know you should. If you do not truly feel sorry. It can cause more harm because the person you are making an amends to will feel as if they are being used and as if you are just going through the motions.
The Haynes Clinic is an alcohol and drug rehab clinic which offers detox and counselling for people with addictions. It follows the Twelve Step Programme of recovery.
Call 01462 851414 for free and confidential advice.
