We are all of us products of our upbringing and our experience. We pre-judge others. One of the greatest benefits I have derived from my experience of addiction and recovery is that my eyes have been opened.
I always thought I had a good life. I am one of those alcoholics who cannot blame her drinking on a bad childhood or a traumatic experience. My childhood was a happy one, I enjoyed school and did well, I came from a family in which I knew I was loved, I had friends and was quite popular. I had a good career, made a good marriage, had children and a lovely home. On the outside I had it all.
Lived in a Bubble
In some ways, though, I lived life in a bubble. I worked with middle class educated people. We were all politically correct and polite to one another. Alcoholism and addiction were something we read about and did not really know much about. It was something that happened to the weak and feckless.
So it was hard to recognise it when it came along in my family. First my younger brother’s drinking got out of control. He drank a lot – he was my great drinking companion, but when I heard he had experienced hallucinations (rats on the ceiling) I was shocked. I knew I had better watch my drinking.
Unfortunately I did not watch it enough and soon I was in the same boat. Drinking was no longer fun or just something I did, it became essential to my functioning. I went down the hill until I needed help and had to admit it. I went into rehab.
Experience of Addiction
There is a lot more to my story than that but the important thing to say is that I have gained enormously from that horrible experience of active alcoholism. I no longer live in my sheltered existence. Now know many alcoholics and addicts, most in recovery and many have become my good friends. I work with these people and it is the most interesting job ever. No day is predictable and we see life at its most colourful. We see the black misery that addiction can cause and all the many and varied stories of people’s lives and the mess they are in. And we see the miracle when someone who was in such trouble and at death’s door gets the chance to live their life without drink or drugs and to become the person who their family love and remember from the old days.
I Don’t Judge
From my experience of addiction I have learned never to judge anyone who gets into active addiction. It is an illness and it has no discrimination in terms of who it gets – it can be someone of any sex, age, social class, education, from any job (including the most respected in society), of any intelligence, race, religion, sexuality – ANYONE! It does not attack just the weak – in fact, quite the opposite, it usually gets strong, intelligent people, and alcoholics and addicts can be the most lovely people.
If you think you have a problem, or someone you love has, there is no shame in it only in your / their behaviour when in active addiction. You, too, can benefit from the terrible experience you have gone through and become a more broadminded and less judgemental person.
The Haynes Clinic is an alcohol, drug and gambling rehab centre which offers detox and counselling for people with addictions.
Call 01462 851414 for free and confidential advice.
