We are on are a journey – the road to rehabilitation. Things are not exactly as I want them to be in my life at the moment and I find that difficult. I want to fix things and make them as I want them to be but I am powerless over other people. At the moment I’m working my programme really hard. Practising acceptance and patience, not holding resentments, believing that all will work out all right in the end.
Mental gratitude – We are on a Journey
I am constantly doing at least a mental gratitude list as I have much to be thankful for. Although things are not perfect and for today it is not what I expected in my own grand plan, I do believe more will be revealed and all will become clearer soon. But I would love to know what the bigger picture is now! Life is not like that though. In the meantime, though, I have to learn and grow from the situation I am in. Probably at some time in the future I will be able to also use the benefits I will undoubtedly gain from this experience to help others.
I have to own my part in the situation I am in and I can see it. At this moment am not sure how I could have done things very differently though. Perhaps I am exactly where I am meant to be right now. Writing things I find very therapeutic, and even as I write, things are becoming clearer. All I need is more faith in what is to come.
I also know that how we respond to any given situation is very important. Currently looking at what are the important outcomes for the longer term. Working towards those rather than reacting in a petty and petulant way. I know that other people think I am behaving with dignity and forgiveness and if I sometimes feel great pain and anger, I am trying not to show it or take it out on anyone. However – I am also aware of the dangers of keeping it all within…… I am working my programme and this will not lead to me returning to drinking.
Higher power
The words of the Lord’s Prayer from thousands of years ago are very relevant to me – ‘forgive us our sins (trespasses) as we forgive those who sin (trespass) against us’. I need forgiveness for my many past wrongs, especially when I was drinking. So I need to forgive, too.
More will be revealed, as they say we are on a journey. In the meantime I need to have faith that I am meant to be going through this, that it is all part of my development, that my Higher Power knows where I am heading and that all that is required of me is to live my life by my values and using the Twelve Step Programme, one day at a time.
The Haynes Clinic is an alcohol and drug rehab clinic which offers detox and counselling for people with addictions.
Call 01462 851414 for free and confidential advice.
