So it is official. Christmas is allowed this year and for 5 days (23rd – 27th December). Three households can get together and celebrate the festive season in some sort of style. Is this something you are looking forward to or dreading? Is the whole prospect of Christmas – when the alcohol traditionally flows – a worry for you? Or is staying sober at Christmas something to get through and to be endured?
Staying sober at Christmas – different approaches
To some extent, your approach to getting through Christmas sober will depend on where you are at with your sobriety and recovery. If you are new in and fairly vulnerable, it may be a bit of an endurance test. And if you have concerned loved ones around you, this will add to the pressure.
I can remember my first Christmas sober. I felt happy and secure in my recovery and was very confident that I was not at risk of relapse. But my family were worried knowing how often I had stopped drinking and started again in the past. They did not want me to be at any risk of having a drink. So they contacted the extended family before they arrived for the traditional
Christmas get together and advised them not to bring alcohol with them. I was very upset and angry with them. All I wanted was for things to be as normal as possible. Looking back many years later I can understand why they were not as confident in me as I was in myself. I had been sober only 3 months – the fact that I am still sober today over 10 years later was not something they could foresee.
Dangers of self control
In the past, I would have been easily swayed. At any get together, if there was alcohol I would have been tempted – even if it was to have ‘just the one’. If I was driving I would have had to know in advance so I could get my mental armour on to get through the occasion without alcohol. If I was not driving I would be focussing on not letting myself down…
Can someone with a drink problem have ‘just the one’? Yes and No. We are not weak people and it may be that we can have one drink at that particular time. We can use our willpower to keep it at just the one. BUT if we get away with one on that occasion, the chances are we will want to have one on another occasion – why not have two this time? Before we know it, those of us who have a drink problem will be back exactly where we started, drinking heavily every day or off on a binge. We will NEVER stop at just the one.
Acceptance is key
‘One is too many and a thousand is never enough’. This phrase is used often by those treating alcoholism. We cannot safely have one drink. We will never get away with it because if we do get away with it at the time, we will push the boundaries until we do not.
So accept the fact that alcohol is not for you either at Christmas or on any other day of the year. Christmas Day is just one day. This year the Christmas period is defined as 5 days – 5 days off from coronavirus restrictions.. Recovery and sobriety are for life and worth so much more.