There is one thing in addiction recovery that must always come first no matter what. Some of us find this hard to grasp in our early days because we feel so guilty about what we have done when drinking or using and think we must make it up to the people who love us. However, even if we don’t immediately see it, there is one thing that we can do for them which probably is the best thing we could ever do and that is to stay clean and sober. Our recovery has to be the first thing that matters to us – before our partners, children, parents, other family and friends, work and everything else. If we start to drink or use again, we will end up with absolutely nothing and could end up with losing our lives.
It is a bit like the safety instructions we hear on airlines, which initially sound counter-intuitive, until you think them through. I am referring to the ones in which you are told that if the oxygen masks drop down, you should fit your own before fitting those of any young children with you. This is so that you can actually be conscious to look after the children – if you put one on your child but then pass out yourself, you are no use to your child.
So what does putting our recovery first actually mean?
Well the first thing first here means avoiding that first drink or drug at all costs. If we don’t take the first drink, we will never be an active alcoholic or addict again and we have a fighting chance. This could mean putting ourselves out somewhat – if we are concerned that anything puts us at risk of relapsing, then this should be avoided. So it might mean having no alcohol in the house, even if your partner is a social drinker and this seems hard on him or her. Not having alcohol in the house will not kill them – but having it could kill you.
It might mean not going to the pub or certain social occasions until you are stronger in your recovery. It might mean changing your drinking or drug using friends. Also means ensuring you go to recovery meetings, even when you do not want to and it is easy to make an excuse that you should stay at home for your family. They need you to stay well and recovery comes first!
Put General Health First
It also means putting your general health first, eating properly and establishing a good routine.
I find ‘first things first’ a really good philosophy for life generally. In recovery we face the same problems that those not in recovery face – our lives do not become problem and challenge free just because we are now clean and sober. I find that if I do not project into the future too much and just do what needs to be done now, then often some of those things I feared for the future do not materialise.
Break Things Down to Manageable Chunks
Just break any problem down into manageable chunks and tackle what needs to be done first without worrying about the rest. Having done that, things can have moved on and what we feared is no longer so frightening – or we can move onto the next small task. In that way, nothing ever seems too big to face. First things first – one step at a time.
The Haynes Clinic is a drug, gambling and alcohol addiction rehab clinic offering detox and treatment for those suffering from addiction to alcohol, drugs and prescription medication.
Call 01462 851414 for confidential help and advice.