It is Christmas Eve. Christmas can be one of the happiest times of the year when we get together with our families and friends and share good will. We exchange presents, eat well and ‘normal people’ can also have a drink together (not us recovering alcoholics and addicts, though!). For many people, Christmas is a warm special occasion for others, Christmas emphasises how alone and lonely they are.
If they have lost loved ones, it can be a particularly painful time of the year.
I remember my first Christmas in addiction recovery. It was a very happy occasion and for a change I was focused and had energy. After wrapping all the presents on Christmas Eve, though, I felt quite lonely, even though I had my children at home with me. It is easy for anyone – but perhaps particularly for us in recovery – at times to feel lonely.
Felt Lonely
On this particular occasion, I did talk to someone else in recovery and shared that I felt lonely. I did not think he would understand as I was not alone – but he did. He said we all feel lonely sometimes, and that made me realise that to feel like that was not a sign of being ungrateful or anything like that (as by then I was beginning to get back a lot that was good in my life) – it was a perfectly normal feeling.
The good news is that we need never feel lonely again. We are now members of an exclusive club, one that has been particularly costly to join. We have probably been very bad in the past at admitting we need help and reaching out for it, but now we need to do this whenever we get even a hint of needing it as our lives might depend on it. Can reach out to anyone in addiction recovery that we know or to those who know us well and know we are in recovery. If we practise reaching out, it gets easier and as we go to more and more meetings, we will begin to learn more people with whom we feel comfortable and with whom we can share our thoughts.
Sign Of Weakness
It is not a sign of weakness to say we feel lonely or need help – though many of us though it was when we were struggling with our drinking or using.
At Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous meetings, the people there are working together to stay well and support one another. They reach out and greet newcomers, exchange telephone numbers and will help each other get to other meetings – if asked. They will chat afterwards to get to know each other better. By reaching out to others and spreading the message of AA or NA, they are also helping themselves because they know they are doing something worthwhile. It gives them a sense of fulfilment and purpose.
We keep what we have by giving it away. Magic!
If you have a drink or drug related problem. Please call 01462 851414 for confidential help and advice