Isolating is something most of us did to an extreme degree as our addiction progressed. Even if we began our drinking or using careers as party animals who used to love a good night out with friends in order to indulge our drinking or using, at some point along the way we realised we could indulge when on our own and slowly this led to us not wanting to go out to indulge – leading to us eventually cutting ourselves off from our friends and social events – isolating. Many of us can tell many tales – funny in some ways looking back but rather mad at the time – of what we did to drink or use on our own.
Our Drinking Places
It is certainly not uncommon for us to have had a room we sat in to do it – often a bedroom, but for some a kitchen or some other room – and sometimes we did very odd things indeed in order to drink or use without interruption (or hiding). Personally I drank in my car, in the fields (I once had a little snooze with my gin and tonic and woke to find a circle of cows gazing at me in curiosity) – and even stranger, I once spent a night in a large wardrobe so my family thought I had gone out for the night. And I thought I had got one over on them! (By then they wanted me out the house because they were so frustrated with my constant drinking).
Social Skills
Once in recovery, though, we have to relearn our social skills. Isolation no longer serves us, though it is tempting not to make that enormous effort required of us to start mixing again. We have to find people we feel comfortable with in our new clean and sober lives. These are unlikely to be your previous drinking or using friends (in fact you will probably find these were just drinking or using company not friends who will not have time for you now you are not one of them). Your true friends from your past will not need to drink with you and should support your new lifestyle.
Be Careful about becoming the Driver
Be a bit careful about becoming the driver for drinking or using friends as – apart from it being rather boring being with people who are off their heads when you are sober – they are boring not you! – it is not a good idea to put yourself in a drinking or using environment in which you may be at risk – at least in the early days after addiction rehab..
It is a good idea to try and find some new companions in recovery – and to find the ones who like to do similar things in their leisure time as you – be it go for a coffee or meal, or go to the cinema, theatre – or to a recovery party at which some people find their childhood beings that can dance and have a whale of a time stone cold sober. Good for them – though that is not for everyone.
Isolating – Seek Company
Ultimately what you need to do is look after your addiction recovery, but to get out and seek company – with people you feel comfortable with and doing activities you can enjoy. Go for it!