It is universally agreed – including by Allen Carr – that a definition of alcoholism is someone who has lost control of their drinking. However, Carr questions why other people can often see this before the alcoholic themselves and suggests this may be because the alcoholic drinker does not want to face up to the reality of the situation. In Alcoholics Anonymous, this is called denial.
However, Carr goes on in his next section to describe ‘the pitcher plant’, a plant which lures insects into it by means of its sweet contents, which once they have tasted they go further and further in until there is no escape and they are eaten by the plant. Carr’s view is that this is similar to all people drinking alcohol. Once we taste of the plant, we are not in control. He maintains that all drinkers are not in control of their drinking but that, for the purposes of illustration, alcoholics have gone further into the plant than so called ‘normal drinkers’.
Alcoholism Rules Our Lives
Carr next goes on to describe alcoholism as like being in prison. This is an analogy I often use – that being an active alcoholic is like being in a prison of our own making because we are not free – alcohol rules our lives. Carr though takes it a step further. He describes that alcoholic’s brain as being half in the mode of prisoner, wanting to escape from the misery of drinking – while the other half of the brain is the gaoler which is preventing us from getting out. What we need to concentrate on is how we are going to escape.
Carr next goes on to describe the three factors which stop us escaping – as he sees them:
1) We believe we need alcohol to cope with the stresses and strains of life and to relax and enjoy social occassions
2) We need to accept that we cannot cut down or control our drinking
3) We do not need to be told that we are stupid and weak willed.
I agree with all of the above. On the precipice of giving up drinking, my fear of taking the leap was related to how I was ever going to cope with life without my crutch – alcohol. It had become something I used occasionally to something I needed on a permanent basis to get through each day.
I knew I could not control my drinking or cut down, I could stop but not stay stopped.
I knew I was not stupid or weak willed – in fact I was strong willed. But for some reason this did not help. (I now know it is not about will power but about the opposite – acceptance and no longer fighting it).
So how do we escape? Carr says we all have the key but the solution does not concern the physical addiction – it is a solution that is mental. I agree……