If you have tried giving up through using willpower, you may have found it difficult – at least for the first 24 hours when withdrawals were the worst – or you may have found the initial stopping quite easy. However, if you were using willpower then the chances are it got increasingly difficult as time went on and you were obsessing about drinking or not drinking. Many of us find it difficult to stay sober and that is despite the fact that we know we are physically healthier and financially better off . Indeed we also regain our self respect.
Relapse
So why do so many of us relapse and go back to the misery of being physically controlled by the substance? It is usually because we have not dealt with the mental alcohol addiction and our heads tell us it was not that bad when we were drinking. We very quickly forget how bad it was. So we have a mental craving for a drink which goes on hour after hour and day after day. We become miserable and discontented, not being able to satisfy this craving.
Eventually we have a little argument with ourselves. Who are we hurting if we have just one? We are in control of what we do so why not indulge this craving. No one need know and we will feel so much better…. Very soon we are back in the world of misery, fear and panic – the fear of not having access to the drink we feel we need; the constant panic about getting the next drink, the panic about being found out and all the secrets and lies….
Drinking Dreams
I have not been in this place for 5 years but I still occasionally dream that I am there – a so-called ‘drinking dream’. In the dream I am craving a drink, I am having a drink and I am buying drink (perhaps in a queue and worrying that I will be spotted). When I wake up I am so relieved that it was all a dream and that I do not actually crave a drink at all.
What can actually keep people craving is the belief that they need a drink to enjoy themselves or to relax. However, we did not need this before we ever drunk alcohol so this is simply a misconception. If we consider that there are any advantages at all to drinking alcohol then it is likely that at times we will crave a drink and so become vulnerable to a relapse.
No Advantages of Drinking
So we need to be clear that there are no advantages to drinking. Equally, we need to be clear that cutting down is not an option.
There is no time like the present to stop drinking. If you truly believe that you do not need a drink to enjoy yourself, that party or wedding is no longer a reason to put off giving up. Indeed, quite the opposite – you can attend it and enjoy the occasion without the shame and embarrassment of the behaviour that often accompanies your drinking. Go for it!
The Haynes Clinic offers residential treatment for dependency on alcohol, drugs and prescription medication. We can also help with other addictions such as gambling and with eating disorders.