Being any of the four things listed in the title of this article can represent danger, especially to someone in early recovery. Being more than one of these things is particularly bad and if you are all four of them, as I was recently, then your recovery must be very strong. Fortunately, mine is!
Hungry
You are probably aware that if you go food shopping when you are hungry, you are likely to buy more food, especially treats and food that will give you instant gratification. Many of us alcoholics used drink as our main source of calories. We drank when we were hungry – and drank when we were not. It is definitely true that if you are hungry you are more likely to crave those calories from drink.
Lots of us in recovery develop a sweet tooth as it is our means of replacing the calories. Do not worry about this too much – it is better to be sober and eating a few cakes and a bit of chocolate than drunk and thin. If you put on too much weight from your sweet tooth, you can address this at a later stage when your recovery is stronger.
Angry, Lonely and Tired
The other three do not need much explanation – we have all drunk or used on our anger; if we feel lonely we are more vulnerable to drinking or using to escape our self-pity . If we are tired we can feel low and are then more likely to pick up.
It can work the other way, too. If you feel like drinking or using, ask yourself, am I hungry, angry, lonely or tired? Chances are you are, and that is what you need to address. Knowing that a drink or drug will not help you in the longer run.
I recently had a long and difficult day at work. The day had not gone at all as planned and I ended up having an unexpected and difficult meeting which ended mid-evening. I was not even back at the office and had a report to get out – and I had lost 5 hours of my day in this meeting. Returned to the office at 7pm to write the report, knowing I had over 2 hours more work to do. I had not had lunch.
Resentments Can Grow when HALT
As I drove back to the office, I felt angry because my business partner had disappeared off for the afternoon and had not been working. I knew he could not have attended the meeting in my place nor written the report but I felt unsupported and unappreciated emotionally. I rang him to report back on the meeting which was important to both of us. We got cut off because the signal went. Once back at the office I listened to my voicemails and there was one accidentally left by my partner. Just recording him at home in his sitting room discussing the meeting I had attended with two friends. They were relaxed and chatting, probably eating in the warm. I had to write my report.
Later having done my report, I drove home – my journey takes an hour. As I drove down the motorway I got more and more resentful. I was hungry, angry, lonely and tired. An absolutely classic example of vulnerability.
In the past I would have picked up a drink. I didn’t. I picked up the phone, spoke to friends – and told my business partner how I felt too.
Recognise these dangerous situations if they happen to you and do something constructive about them (eat, talk to someone, get some rest) – but never relapse. Take control when in addiction recovery.
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