Alcoholics and addicts tend to be sensitive souls, and we need to learn how to keep our side of the street clean. Most of the time we think everything is about us, so we can tend to take things personally and can be easily hurt and upset. However, to hold on to these feelings is a dangerous thing for our addiction recovery so we have to learn to deal with them. Learning to forgive even though we perhaps cannot forget at this moment in time.
How do we keep our side of the street clean?
However, life is not all about what other people do to us, it is a two way street and we will almost always have a part in any given situation – whether as a major protagonist or just as a participant. It is really important for our recovery that we own what is ours and deal with it as quickly as we can, otherwise resentments can build up within us and we can become angry, feel guilty and remorseful – a good cocktail for a relapse. We cannot risk living with unresolved issues.
Lots of people have no problem in dealing with issues as they arise but many of us recovering addicts and alcoholics do. Alcoholics and addicts tend do procrastinate and shy away from difficult things and situations. We do not want to take responsibility for harms caused or things that have gone wrong. We do not want to appear stupid or weak.
Owning our part in situations
When we start owning our part in situations and dealing with them straight away, surprisingly we feel good about ourselves rather than weak. We feel as if we have some power (not in a bad way) but that we can take responsibility and move on. There is a really good feeling of healing when you deal with your anger and frustration with a person by recognising that you too might have been in the wrong. If you own your part – even for example by admitting that you lost your temper and should not have spoken to someone else as you did (even if the essence of what you said was right) then you will feel a lot better about yourself. You may even find you are able to get on better with that person as a result of taking some responsibility.
Trying to be a better person
We are back to the issue of honesty and trying to be a better person and lead a better life. So even if you are given too much change in a shop, the honest thing is to say so (the shop assistant may be in trouble for an innocent mistake if you do not). What a transformation, if you were the sort of person who would have taken something such as alcohol from somewhere – or taken money from someone’s purse to feed your habit – before going into recovery.
So we need to forgive others straight away and correct our own wrongs to keep our side of the street clean. This is a healthy way to live and, by keeping our consciences clear, we have a much better chance of keeping our bodies clean and in a healthy recovery too.