Remember how bad it was and take a day at a time
We have been in the safe environment of a residential addictions treatment rehab unit for 14 or 28 days. Now it is time to return home. We need to maintain the change in our thinking and behaviour and put into practise what we have learnt whilst in treatment. It sounds simple and straightforward and in some ways it is. In other ways it is not. We have changed but we are going back to the environment and people that will not have changed while we have been away and old emotions and feelings can return. Another problem can arise when we start to diminish the reality of how bad our life was before we were admitted for treatment and to deny the extent of our problem with addiction or dependency.
So the key to remaining clean or sober is all about Step 1 of the 12 Step programme where it is not just admitting the problem we have with alcohol or drugs or gambling, but to accept we have a problem and are willing to do something about it.
An important start to every day is to simply say to ourselves, “whatever happens today I will not (then use the word related to our addiction such as alcohol, drugs, gamble, overeat) today”. That is so important as we are looking not to engage with our old behaviour for just 24 hours which is mentally a manageable amount of time. We then repeat the wording the next day and so on. This way we are starting each day with a commitment to ourselves and acknowledging the fact of our problem and that we are going to do something about it today.
To be honest, whatever happens in anyone’s day can never ever be as bad relapsing back into old behaviour just because something has upset us (ask those who have relapsed!).
Ask for help
One thing we will have learnt in treatment is that we can start to trust others through a daily structured therapy programme, starting with the therapists, who will usually all be in recovery themselves. We will openly have shared about our life. This process is important as when we leave the addictions rehab or clinic it is paramount that we continue to communicate and to seek help and direction from others rather than to try and get well ourselves which simply does not work. There needs to be a degree of humility so that we will look to others for help. We need to remember that whatever we did to try and correct or control or stop our addiction before going into treatment it didn’t work our way. We needed the help of others to get on the first step of Recovery and that never changes. The first word of Step 1 starts with ‘We’ not ‘I’ and it is the concept of helping each other that is proven to work.
Attend fellowship meetings
In treatment, we will have had an introduction to attending support groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), also Cocaine Anonymous (CA) and Narcotics Anonymous (NA) and we will also have an understanding of how and why the meetings work. Regular attendance at the appropriate support group that is connected to your addiction is vital and initially we should be going to at least three meetings a week. It does not have to just be in the evenings as there are lunchtime meetings as well. The address of meetings local to our home address can be found on their websites.
Attend aftercare at the addiction treatment centre you attended and get a sponsor
If you have been in treatment for 28 days then the Haynes Clinic (and many other addiction rehab treatments) offers further free support by means of one day a week face to face at the clinic of 12 months of ongoing Aftercare. The difference between a 12 Step support group and Aftercare is that in aftercare you will be able to discuss what is currently happening in your life.
Any help and direction needed will be given by one of the therapists that you have already met and trust from your time in treatment. On the other hand you should have found a Sponsor from within one of the support group meetings that you are attending. He or she should have at least 2 years’ worth of Recovery and should be the same sex as you. You can do further work with them on the 12 Steps and they will act as further support.
Communicating with others in Recovery and keeping in touch with where you were in treatment is paramount to maintain a change in our thinking and behaviour. We do not see ourselves as others see us so be prepared to be challenged if someone sees our old attitude returning.
Have an alcohol and drug free home
Many people fall into the trap when in the home environment of “ that’s OK for you to have a drink, I’m the one with the addiction.” Many a relapse has started just because someone’s partner is continuing to drink in front of them which means there is alcohol in the house.
It is important to have an alcohol and drug free home because if someone is tempted to have a drink or a line it is readily available. If it’s not there then you have to go out and get it. In that time you might come to your senses and make a telephone call to say how you are feeling and prevent a relapse.
Keep away from ‘wet places’
You should definitely keep out of “wet places” where they serve alcohol and this includes restaurants. If you are meeting friends then meet at a Café where there is no alcohol. There is nothing worse than sitting having a meal whilst watching the people at the next table drinking your favourite “tipple.” It is madness to also think it is all right to go into your local and drink an alcohol free drink or even a soft drink. These sort of actions are risky for our Recovery.
Also avoid drinking the new alcohol free lager, beer and now alcohol free spirits at home as they can taste just like the real thing and the brain recognises the taste. It is not long before you are drinking the real stuff.
Eat well
Whatever has been our addiction it is important to remember that it will have had a detrimental effect on our health, both mental and physical. It is important that we start to eat well to help us recover. A healthy diet and three structured meals a day should be part of a daily plan along with some form of exercise but this does not mean going to the gym every day and starting and exercise addiction!! Everything we do should be in moderation and there should not be one thing in our day that we start to obsess about.
Get happy!
There is a very good saying “I did not get clean and sober to be miserable”. This is very true. Our addiction was leading to a daily downward spiral. The problem is we find change very difficult. We need to find things each day where we can laugh or even accept that we are doing something we could not do when our addiction was rife.
There is a very good statistic that the first 6 months are the time that we are more susceptible to relapse, due in part to a reluctance to change our thinking and behaviour. We think we are OK and decide our own will power is the answer. Really it is not and by doing things differently, and some things we don’t want to do such as going to weekly support groups, we will ultimately find the pleasure in life that we have been missing.