What is a relapse?
An alcohol, drug or gambling relapse is defined as when someone, who has been through a residential addiction treatment programme, returns to drinking, drugs or gambling after a period of recovery. It does not have to be the same substance as used before – for example, a cocaine addict could have decided that alcohol was not a problem and subsequently found it was. In all the years that we have spoken to people who want to be admitted to The Haynes Clinic who have relapsed there has not been a single one who said to us “ that relapse was amazing !!”
In fact, a relapse from recovery begins not when someone actually consumes alcohol or injects heroin or gambles – that is the result of the relapse which begins in the mind. No one suddenly finds themselves magically with a drink in their hand or with a wrap of drugs. A relapse is usually mentally planned and there is a conscious effort to go and obtain whatever liquid or substance that the person thinks they will be all right to use again.
The one thing that is very common is that someone who has relapsed will always blame a situation or specific feeling associated with a situation as to that being the trigger and the reason that they “ picked up” again. So from the time that we get a thought of wanting, for example, an alcoholic drink to possibly getting in a car and driving to the supermarket or walking to the local store, there is a period of time when we can make a change to our old addictive thinking and phone someone, even the residential alcohol clinic or drug rehab where we were in treatment, and explain that we are struggling.
How common is a relapse?
The statistics demonstrate that relapse following discharge from residential addiction treatment will usually occur during the first 6 months, if it is likely to happen. The next danger point is usually around a year when the thinking can be “well that went quickly I might be all right to have the occasional drink now.” This train of thought can last for a few weeks after we get to 12 months of sobriety. If we don’t relapse during this time we should get to 5 years of sobriety. We basically do not like change but we need to make changes with our thinking and behaviour in order to get well and live a life free from alcohol and drugs.
Why people relapse
Being of a young age
The old image of an alcoholic or addict being the park bench drunk is long gone. The conventional age of those seeking residential help for their addiction has also changed. In a very short span of time the conventional age of those being admitted for addiction treatment has dropped from people in their 50s and 60s down to people in their 20s and 30s being admitted from all kinds of backgrounds, employment types, ethnicities, and nationalities etc.
The way the world has changed since before the covid pandemic and the subsequent working from home regime has played a part, together with the increased cost of drinking in pubs. This has meant people are staying at home drinking or will drink at home before going out later to a club. They are drinking more alcohol as the amount that is poured out into a glass is considerably in excess of a pub measure. To give you an idea, count one, two, three quickly while pouring liquid from a bottle into a glass and that’s roughly a pub double measure. These factors at least part explain the reason for younger people now seeking addiction treatment. This is relevant to relapse because it is perhaps harder for a person in their twenties to have to commit to lifelong total abstinence. It will take time to mentally accept total abstinence “a day at a time” for the rest of their lives.
Not having completed a full addiction rehab treatment programme
Just having an alcohol or drug detox is not usually sufficient as it only deals with the physical freedom from addiction. It does not address the mental obsession nor why we drink or use drugs to avoid feeling our emotions or to escape from our everyday lives. A ‘detox only’ approach will usually lead to an early relapse as the individual has no real understanding of what they need to do to remain abstinent and accept the changes they need to make to be happy and fulfilled. The recommended addiction treatment period is for 28 days and with this amount of time, in a safe environment, it allows us to make a good start at breaking the addictive cycle. We are able to process with professional therapists through a structured programme a way forward, free from the constraints of alcohol or drugs, on how to change our addictive thinking and behaviour. The fact that we have been admitted into an addictions treatment clinic is solely because our life is being destroyed by our addiction. Its not like we don’t think we have got a problem as in reality we know we do.
Not making the changes in our lives that we need to make
However, although we generally cannot manage our lives with our addiction, as soon as we leave treatment or possibly even whilst we are in treatment, we mentally start to question how we are going to manage our lives without going out and socialising with our friends and not be drinking, for example.
We can start to deny the extent of the problem we had before we went into addiction treatment and also, a very common trait, start to believe that we can manage to stay well without making any changes. What we actually need to do to prevent relapse is to regularly attend support groups (several times a week, at least to start with), keep in regular contact with the unit we were in via their Aftercare programme, not go to pubs or restaurants where we will be watching people drinking alcohol and avoid the alcohol section in the supermarket when we go shopping.
We may need to drop heavy drinking and drug using friends and delete them from our contacts. We should keep an alcohol free house and meet friends for a coffee. If we remain clean and sober a day at a time, it is our choice to not relapse and we should be proud that we have made that choice today. It is also important to share any thing that comes into our lives that could be a trigger to get us to reach for the crutch of alcohol or a drug as we always used to. It is important that we make regular phone calls so that we feel comfortable sharing any painful situation or feeling with others and not use it as an excuse to pick up a drink or drug.
Relapse is a choice
Simply put, the easiest thing in the world is to relapse and its almost a cop out to go that route. What is a fact, though, is that within a very short period of time your drinking or using will not be at the level that it was when you were originally admitted into addiction treatment, but it will be higher.
A good relapse does not exist but a good life free from addiction does. We just need to work at it when we have left treatment.