The vast majority of people are afraid of change. The familiar is cosy and comfortable. Change can be threatening and can affect our perceived security. Change can come in the form of a new person at work who we need to get to learn to know and trust, new companions in a shared student house, moving to a new place where we do not know anyone – or just a change in our routines.
External Conditions we need to Adapt Too
These are all external conditions that we need to adapt to. How dull would be our life if everything forever remained the same. I must confess, I am one of those people who would not want to live in a hot country where the sun always shines consistently all year round and there are no real noticeable seasons. I love the variety of the British weather, the extremes of weather we can experience and the changing seasons.
Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes
However, in addiction recovery, the biggest change we need to make is internally to ourselves. ‘Nothing changes if nothing changes’ – or so the saying goes. We have to change the very foundation of our thinking. I see it as being an opening of the eyes to what exactly has been going on with us during our drinking years, a recognition that we have been out of control and unmanageable and that we have at least some if not all the responsibility for this. We gain an awareness of our character defects and embark on a structured and honest programme of living. Our horizons broaden. We change in our outlook and in the way we live our lives and interact with other people.
Principles Before Personalities
As part of this change, we are encouraged to always put principles before personalities. This means we do what is right, whoever is involved. We treat everyone equally and we practice compassion, honesty, patience and tolerance. By being comfortable with ourselves, we can be happy and more fulfilled and complete.
If we are happy, fulfilled people in recovery, we are an attractive group of people to mix with. The fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous is generally an attractive one to join. It is an entirely informal organisation of people who give their time freely and both give and receive help. It is probably one of the best known organisations in the world – and yet it has no advertising budget. There is no chief executive and no well known board of directors. It is attended by millions of ‘anonymous’ individuals.
Group Meetings for Change
There are a few individuals in AA who like to be Mr Big of the organisation, believing that a meeting is their fiefdom and promoting themselves and the organisation with personalised number plates etc. These people have not acknowledged their character defects of pride and self-promotion. They would fit in well with a cult of followers and can be dangerous if they stray too far from the original thinking of AA as being a fellowship of individuals whose only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are plenty of AA meetings which are attractive, which have a good quality of sober members and where laughter and honesty shine through. These group meetings are attractive and help you change – the can be a key element of the 12 steps to recovery. If you look around you should find several near you.
The Haynes Clinic is an alcohol, gambling and drug rehab clinic which offers detox and counselling for people with addictions.
Call 01462 851414 for free and confidential advice.
