Addiction, including alcoholism, is an incurable illness recognised by the World Health Organisation. Many of us with the illness are quite relieved to find that it is just that. We like the term disease given that many of us have been feeling dis-ease, and that is in part why we drank, gambled or used.
The responsibility we bear
However, we have to be careful not to think that because we have an illness we bear no responsibility for what it has done to us. Even long before we knew, the signs were there. But, at the time we did not all of us know that our feelings around drinking or using drugs were not ‘normal’. I can remember the first time I had a proper drink (rather than a few sips or a single drink that lasted for hours). I suddenly felt to relaxed and full of confidence. As my teen years progressed, when I drank I always drank for longer than most of my friends. I wanted to continue drinking once the pubs had closed. There was an association with drinking, sophistication and moving up in the world.
‘A Disease – Born with my addiction’
I now believe I was born with my addiction. For years I was known as a good time girl and a party animal, able to keep up with the men – and I was proud of it. I did have a good time (except for the hangovers). In my 20s when drinking became more of a habit, I still didn’t see the dangers but it was getting progressively worse. By the end of my 30s I was in quite a lot of difficulty with it but I still carried on and managed by keeping my alcohol levels just about permanently topped up. I was a controlled alcoholic – some days lurching through by the skin of my teeth, others looking as if I was relatively normal. I don’t really know when it became apparent to the outside world that I had a real problem.
‘We have to stop drinking or using’
This was in part due to my biological make up. But, anyone with this illness can treat it by not feeding it. We have to stop drinking, gambling or using. Once we get to a certain point, there will never be any controlled drinking or using again. People may say to us: ‘ why can’t you just have the one?’. Some will say ‘practice some willpower’, others say ‘stop being so weak’. Yet, none of those things are possible. As a diabetic can function by controlling his blood sugar levels, so we can function by not drinking or using. If the diabetic does not control his blood sugar, he can become dangerously ill – as can an addict who puts the substance which gives them such an adverse reaction into his body.
We have to treat our illness with abstinence, not ignore it. We need to respect its power. If we treat it with respect rather than use it as an excuse for all that can go wrong in our lives, we have it within our gift to stay well.
If you have an alcohol, drug or gambling related problem, please call 01462 851 414 for confidential help and advice