Alcoholic Rock Bottom is a term commonly used and many people believe that alcoholics have to reach a rock bottom in order to start getting well. In some ways it is true. Things have to become sufficiently bad for an alcoholic to think it worth giving up their drink. If they are happy drinking and there are no consequences then why stop? It is very hard to stop. Not just physically with withdrawal symptoms. But also because alcohol has become an emotional crutch which helps them cope with their life. So giving it up is a big thing.
Events leading up to change
What is a rock bottom? It can be many things. It can be a big and traumatic event. Someone who has just been caught for drink driving could say that is what brought them to their rock bottom. They could lose their job due to their drinking. Or get arrested. Their relationship could be over due to drinking. Or they could lose their home, their family, friends… Any of these traumatic events can bring someone to a rock bottom.
Alternatively it may be the insidious progress of their alcoholism that one day leads someone to reach their rock bottom. It may come in the form of feeling in a dark place. Unable to eat, unable to sleep, with a constantly whirring unhappy head. They get to the point where they know they can no longer live with alcohol. Equally (and perhaps this is incomprehensible to the person who has not had problems with alcohol) they will feel they cannot live without it. They are stuck between the proverbial rock and a hard place. And are utterly hopeless and miserable. Life has become unmanageable.
You don’t have to wait to seek help
If you love and care for someone with alcohol problems, you do not have to stand by and watch until they reach rock bottom. The process can be accelerated by you deciding what behaviours you will and will not tolerate. You can effectively bring the rock bottom forward. So if you say that you will not tolerate any alcohol in the home and the person brings alcohol in then you can either ask them to leave or leave yourself. Of course it may not be as simple as this and you should only put in place consequences that you can follow through. Empty threats are as bad as no threats at all.
Even when quite severe consequences are put in place it may be that the alcoholic still does not reach their ‘rock bottom’ and defiantly wishes to continue drinking. If you will no longer tolerate their drinking and you manage to get them in to a private alcohol rehab clinic, then the counsellors and therapists there can get them to their rock bottom while in treatment. This will almost certainly involve your contribution in terms of you telling the clinic how they have been and what are the consequences of their behaviour for those who love and care for them.
Getting the message through
This time they will hear the message sober and without the physical craving for a drink. It is more likely that they will hear it, recognise the damage done and feel all the guilt and shame of their rock bottom. Then the counsellors will work with them to give them hope of a brighter future, with a view to staying sober and making it up to the people who have worried about them and been hurt and angered by their drinking.