Addiction is a family illness. This is something I have heard often. What does it actually mean? The simplest way in which addiction is a family illness is that it seems to be the case that if one family member is an alcoholic or addict – however well brought up, secure and loving their family background – there is a higher chance that someone else in the family will get the same problem. There does seem to be some genetic link.
Substance abuse as a learned behaviour
Of course the children of many alcoholics and addicts are affected by their parent’s addiction if they witness it in action. And this can also lead to them also going down the same path. Even if they have an absolute determination not to do so. I have heard many people who are in recovery from addiction state that they witnessed their alcoholic or addict parent cause chaos and cause them damage. And were determined not to follow in their path. Only to find themselves helplessly doing so. And so addiction passes down the generations. The ‘children’ have been damaged in their childhood. And they take the obvious route to deal with their pain – escaping by drinking or using drugs themselves.
However, the most notable way that alcoholism and addiction are family illnesses are in the way that they affect the whole family at the time of the addiction. The active alcoholic or addict causes chaos in the family due to their unacceptable behaviour. They may be aggressive and angry. Or they may be unemotional and sleepy all the time. They may be an embarrassment – or a challenging family secret. Whatever it is, they disrupt family life. And make it anything other than ‘normal’.
Addiction as a family illness
In a marriage, an alcoholic or addict does not make for a good partner. They can be emotionally unavailable – or emotionally volatile. They can be aggressive or lacking in energy. Or they can be unable to take responsibility and unreliable. They may not be able to provide for the family. That said, some are able to function and hold down good jobs. Making the addiction even more confusing. Often the partners in a relationship with an addict or alcoholic become co dependent. And unable to disentangle themselves from the relationship. They think they can ‘fix’ their partner despite all the evidence that they have failed to do so to date.
As a parent, an alcoholic or addict is not as emotionally available or stable as their child needs. They can be an embarrassment. Or the child can feel that they have a responsibility for their parent. Which should not be the case for any child.
The son or daughter who is an addict is a worry to their parent(s). The parent(s) can see what risks their much loved ‘child’ is taking. And how they are putting their prospects, health and even their lives in danger. The parent(s) often feel helpless and have no idea how to help their son or daughter. They lose sleep and are extremely unhappy as they witness their son or daughter’s unhappiness.
So yes, addiction is a family illness. It passes through the generations. And the impact of it when in action is felt by all members of the family.
Learn of the other aspects of alcohol addiction.