When we first start drinking, we are usually in the company of so-called normal drinkers who seem to be enjoying a drink. As a child, I used to see the drinks come out in people’s homes at Christmas and therefore associated drinking with enjoyable and exciting occasions. When I started drinking, I had no idea that it was going to lead me into misery. I assumed I would be like the rest of the drinkers around me – as I saw them, sophisticated and well adjusted people.
Crossing the Line
It is true that most drinkers do not descend into full blown alcoholism – though many more do so than most people realise. So are these non-addicted drinkers lucky? Well alcohol remains a drug and a poison so if we think of them as using a drug and drinking a poison, they are not lucky. Indeed, they could be on the path to addiction. If we saw someone taking heroin, for example, we would recognise straight away that they could easily become addicted so why not with alcohol? Almost certainly because it is socially acceptable and legal. Every alcoholic, though, starts off as a ‘normal’ drinker. And very few can see when exactly they cross the line from ‘normal’ drinking to alcoholism, as it is progressive.
Why do People Drink?
So why do people drink? It is because they believe it will make them relaxed and happy and that they need to drink in order to enjoy a social occasion. Even alcoholics, who know that drink causes devastation and misery still believe that they need a drink to relax and cope with stress. And if we still believe that one drink will do this for us, then we are likely still to think that many more will help us. While we cling to this idea, we will find it hard to give up alcohol and be happy.
So we have to see it for what it is – poison that leads us into a trap. ~Why would we want to drink anything that saps our energy and makes us tired? why would we want to drink anything that makes us either verbally or physically unpleasant and / or aggressive? Why would we want to drink something that dehydrates us and gives us a headache? Makes us feel sick? That upsets the people who love us? Destroys our brain cells and our internal organs? Puts stress on our livers? Kills people on the roads? Costs us money both in buying the alcohol itself and in clearing up some of the damage caused directly or indirectly by us drinking it?
Part of the Holiday
I was away in Scotland this weekend with my 88 year old mother. She is not an alcoholic. However, she saw having a glass of wine as being part of the holiday. She knew she could not manage a large glass and she hates waste (and as a recovering alcoholic I could not share it with her) so she asked in several places how large their glasses were. On the last day at the last stop she still had not had this glass of wine so we got it at that stop. I enjoyed my coffee looking out over the loch. My mother sipped her wine and seemed to have to drink it to fulfil a ritual. She forced down the whole glass convinced this was enjoyable. My honest belief is it was the lovely view and relaxing that was enjoyable. The glass of wine appeared to be a hurdle.
The Haynes Clinic offers residential treatment for dependency on alcohol, drugs and prescription medication. We can also help with other addictions such as gambling and with eating disorders.