Are you depressed? Do you no longer love yourself? Are you aware that drinking too much is all part of this miserable existence? Would you like to live your life without drinking? Or are you still clinging on to the notion that all you want to do is drink socially?
Today I have heard some very sad news – the worst. Someone who had a problem with drinking and was about to come into this clinic 6 weeks ago has died. His story is all too familiar. He has tried since April this year to stop drinking, following his family telling him that he needed to stop. With help, he managed to stop for a short while and was a lot happier – but then he heard he had lost his job as a result of his unreliability (caused by his drinking) and he hit the bottle again. Again with support he managed to stop in June but he was still miserable because his wife had left him and he was full of self-pity and sadness.
Organ Failure caused by Drinking
He drank again and rang this clinic for help in early July – but could not come in as he had too much to sort out and clear up (an excuse). This went on for several weeks, with him phoning but failing to make the decision to come in. Finally, one morning in August he was sufficiently on his knees to agree that we should pick him up. We set off but had a phone call within the hour to say he really needed to be in hospital. He never came out. He went the way of many terminally ill alcoholics with internal bleeding and eventual multi organ failure. What a waste of a really lovely man who was still in the prime of his life (mid 50s) with so much to live for – a loving family, children, caring ex-wife and lots of lovely friends.
Denial
Why do so many alcoholics and addicts not take the help that is there for them and that could save their lives? First, we are often not the first to see that we need help, it is more often the people who love us who recognise it first. Carry on denying that we are harming anyone and causing so much distress and worry. We think we can sort it out ourselves.
We are usually intelligent successful people who know what we are doing in so many aspects of our lives – so we believe we must be able to sort this out for ourselves. Resort to our self-will (willpower, stubbornness in other words), and with alcoholism that is our worst enemy. It is affiliated to our pride. Our pride and determination not to give in and not to accept that we need help can kill us.
Accepting Help is Not a Sign Of Weakness
If we are only open to the possibility that there may be another way to sort out our drinking and that to accept help is not a sign of weakness, but one of strength, we can overcome this illness and live a full and happy abstinent life.
Fortunately, in my everyday dealings with alcoholics and addicts, I see the miracles as well as the tragedies. If there were not more of the former than the latter, why would we continue helping addicts to beat their addiction? We do it because we know it can be done – and there are many of us, myself included, to provide living proof of that.
The Haynes Clinic is an alcohol rehab centre which offers detox and counselling for people with addictions.
Call 01462 851414 for free and confidential advice.