Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves
This is a step that requires a lot of soul searching and action and for that reason many people put it off. It has been said that this step can take two years and a Sunday afternoon to complete. That is, people put it off for a long time and then find they can complete it in half a day. My recommendation is that you skip the two years and get straight on with it as it is a step which brings huge benefits. This step teaches us an enormous amount about ourselves and what we need to change in order to live our lives more happily. For me this has been the most amazing eye opener.
Step 4 – Resentments
Step 4 starts with us looking at our resentments. Everyone has some resentments to a greater or lesser degree. These are dangerous things to harbour and many people drink or use drugs on them. Keeping hold of a resentment is like drinking a cup of poison yourself and expecting the other person to die.
So the start of step 4 involves listing all the people against whom we have a resentment. Some people can set to and immediately list many people who have done them wrong and exactly what they have done. Others of us start off by thinking that we don’t have any resentments. But when we dig deep we can admit to feeling aggrieved that this person or that one at some time in our life time did something that we have never forgotten (or forgiven). And once we start we realise that we have been harbouring a lot of grudges.
What Part Did They Harm
We are required to list against whom we have the resentment and what they did. We then have to decide what part of ourself they hurt . Our self-esteem, our security, our personal relationship with someone etc. Then we are asked to consider what our part was in the development of this situation. Because one way or another we always have played a part in it. Finally, we are asked to look at the situation and identify what character defect of ours was at work in it. Vanity, pride, envy, lust, self will etc.
By now we can usually see that each situation was not entirely down to the fault of the other person but actually at least partly down to ourselves! This can be quite humbling. For myself, I found time and again my resentments were caused because I was arrogant and opinionated. Full of self will, intolerant, critical and a perfectionist, unforgiving and that my pride and vanity and conceit were involved.
Step 4 – Moral Inventory
In our moral inventory, we are also asked to look at our fears as these too can affect our ability to live free and fulfilled lives. Fear is the feeling we have when we believe that what is or what is not going to happen to us will be disastrous for us or harm us. It manifests itself as phobia, panic, anxiety and stress. When we feel fear we try to control the world to stop us feeling it. We can be manipulative and limited in what we can do. Therefore need to identify our fears in order to face them.
We are also asked to look at our sexual conduct and how this has harmed others.
The Haynes Clinic is an alcohol and drug rehab clinic. Which offers detox and counselling for people with addictions.
This step is part of our overall alcohol addiction rehabilitation programme
Call 01462 851414 for free and confidential advice.
