After my 28 days in rehab I did find it difficult in the early weeks. I had been through a life changing experience and felt as if things had changed – but when I went home everything was just the same. I went straight back to work – but was reminded of all the bad things that had happened when I was last there and I had to face people after my long absence, knowing that they were probably thinking all sorts of things about me.
Things had changed at work – I had fallen from grace and though I kept my position, I felt people respected me less. The chief executive contracted cancer and someone had to officially assume his responsibilities. 6 months’ earlier it would have been me. I had to be told by the board of trustees that it would not be me because of what I had done. The chief exec was more upset than me at this. He died within the year and a new broom came in to replace him. She restructured the organisation.
Higher Power
Here is where the higher power stuff came in big time. In the meantime, I remained in contact with one of my fellow peers and some time after treatment he and the senior counsellor who was instrumental in getting us both well decided to set up their own rehab clinic. They gave me a minority shareholding as a good friend and asked me to help with a bit of admin in setting it up. My role expanded and when the clinic took off, the company I worked for had some voluntary redundancies on offer. I took one and went to work full time in the rehab business, where I am today.
I thought I loved my old job. My new one is infinitely better. I do not care if it is Monday, Friday, or any other day of the week. My working days are as enjoyable and wonderful (generally) as my non-working days.
Life Now I am 100% Emotionally Present.
I thought I had a good relationship with my children before I stopped drinking and thought I was a good mother. I have a better one now by a long way and I can see how much of a better mother I am. Now, I not only care for their physical well being, I am emotionally 100% present. The time I spend with them is quality relaxing time – not time allocated around my drinking.
I have a great extended family, fabulous friends and a new relationship.
Enjoy going out. I can relax and have fun and a laugh without the presence of alcohol. If I am a little mad at times it is because I choose to be – I am in control of my emotions. It is not the drink making me do or say things. Consequently I do not wake up the next day wishing I had not said or done certain things.
Enjoy music, nature, the seasons, the sun, the rain, the moon, the stars.
Free from the guilt and shame.
Work the 12 Step Programme.
Happiest I have ever been in my life.
Five years on I can honestly say that the benefits I have gained from what I went through have made it worth being an alcoholic and I think my family would agree.
It is possible to be a recovering alcoholic
If you have an alcohol or drug related problem, please call 01462 851414 for free and confidential advice and help.
