Many alcoholics are strong minded and intelligent people. That is one of the reasons we get into trouble with our drinking – we think that someone like us must be able to control it and would not be so foolish as to go down the path of total alcoholism. Alcoholics also have pretty high expectations of themselves and other people. Many of us also tend to be quite controlling people. Many of us are high achievers.
Character and Personality
I know that one of the reasons I drank too much was my character and personality and not my experience. Some people do drink to escape from bad experiences from the past but by no means all alcoholics have this excuse. I drank because I drove myself very hard and it was a quick way to relax. So I drank often. But also once I drank, I liked the feeling it gave me and I had no ‘off’ button. Even in my early days, one glass of wine was never enough. I would want to carry on drinking till it was time to go to sleep.
Set Myself High Standards In Life
I set myself high standards in my life. I worked hard and expected other to work hard too. Even now, I can be quite judgemental about those who do not work and earn a living who have the ability to do so. I treated my colleagues and the people who worked for me with respect – but I expected them to do any work I set to the same standards that I would set myself. I would expect to get my own way. It doesn’t sound as if I was very nice when put like that!
Recovery – Perfect
Now I am in recovery, I am a lot more easy going. I have taken the mantra that we are powerless over other people, places and things to possibly too extreme a level in that my home is now run on very liberal lines. There is possibly a happy medium in there somewhere but my children are all growing up now and perhaps need less direct instruction than they used to.
No One is Perfect
I have also come to realise that no one is perfect. When we first come into alcohol recovery and hear about the 12 Step Programme, it is easy to believe that all these happy people, working this amazing honest programme, must all be almost perfect if not perfection itself. We can be on a pink cloud and not see things for what they really are. These are still human beings with all their failings and foibles. Some are more whole than others – some are still quite ill. But if they are working their programme they are at least making progress. There are some in the fellowship who are there for the wrong reason – and we need to be aware that those who prey on vulnerable adults may be there too.
Apologies for this slightly depressing piece today! Although there may be the odd rotten apple in the barrel, don’t let this make you think that the majority of people in AA are like this. Most are exactly what they say they are – damaged people getting better through AA and there to help others find what they have in their recovery.
The Haynes Clinic is an alcohol, drug and gambling rehab clinic which offers detox and counselling for people with addictions.
Call 01462 851414 for free and confidential advice.
