The prevailing view that alcoholics lack willpower and that is why they drink so much is a total myth. Alcoholics are often extremely strong willed and try very hard to harness their will power. Often for may years, before finally realising that this will not give them a happy solution. As a mother, I could use my willpower to stop drinking each time I became pregnant and during my pregnancies I did not drink. Apart from the very occasional glass of wine I allowed myself as a ‘treat’.
The reason I could do this and the reason I could stick to just one glass on the rare days I allowed myself one was because I was determined not to damage my unborn child. I used my willpower. I have to admit I did not enjoy my pregnancies and I think this was because I could not drink as I wanted to.
Willpower
The same would be the case if an alcoholic decided to cut down for the rest of his or her life. It is possible it could be done on willpower, at least for some time. The problem is that you will spend all your time wanting a drink. Denying yourself one (as I did when I was pregnant) which makes for a miserable existence. You will feel stressed and wishing your life away until you can have the next ‘fix’. You may think you are in control. To some extent you are. Now your life is dominated by the thoughts of drinking rather than the actual drinking itself.
Eventually the willpower will go – or you will deliberately allow yourself to break your own rules. Then you will have a ‘good’ old drinking session and let your hair down. Only to deal with the consequences the next day whether they be only the physical consequences of a hangover. The disappointment in having caved into the urge or the great harm done to others by your behaviour. Remember this: we are never in control because if we were we would not need to have to make such a determined effort to keep our drinking down.
Relief Throwing in the Towel – Abstinence
It is such a relief to just throw in the towel and accept that the easiest option is abstinence. Looked at in the cold light of day. Why do we want to put a drug which is toxic into our bodies. To lose control of our thoughts and behaviour. To become dehydrated and ill, and to embarrass ourselves and cause problems for ourselves and our families? Why do we want to drink something that makes us stressed, anxious, causes panic attacks, isolates us, stops us sleeping well and takes away our appetite? Why do we want to pay vast sums of money over our life time on something which has the power to – and will eventually – kill us?
Looked at like that, the answer to the question of controlled drinking versus abstinence is obvious.
The Haynes Clinic offers residential treatment for dependency on alcohol, drugs and prescription medication. We can also help with other addictions such as gambling and with eating disorders.