Ironically, I was a bit of a lightweight a drinking as a teenager. My older sister and brother insisted I had my first drink at the age of 13. I asked for a lemonade and lime at a local disco (held in a barn – it was the mid 70s when such events were frequent). They thought I was rather boring so bought me a vodka and lime. I did not enjoy it and took all evening just having tiny sips.
My first pleasurable experience of alcohol was probably a few years later round someone’s house. It was an adult gathering and I was probably the youngest and joined in drinking the home made wine. I didn’t particularly like the taste but I did like the effect. The feeling of relaxation and confidence it gave me.
At university I did not drink as much as some of my friends. I can recall few hangovers and only once getting so drunk as to be ill the next day – though I enjoyed some evenings drinking a fair bit and feeling like one of the gang because I joined in and was prepared to be a bit outrageous. That is mainly why I did it to start with – to be part of the group.
Serious Drinking Crept Up on Me
The more serious drinking crept up on me. I graduated with a good degree and got a job in the marketing and advertising field. We did not have a canteen – we had a company wine bar where we went for lunch and right from day 1 when everyone had a welcoming lunchtime drink with me, lunchtimes became wine drinking occasions – not everyone bothered with food.
If we didn’t go to the wine bar, we went to the pub next door and we often went there at the end of the day. We even had alcohol in some afternoon meetings. I found it helped me to relax and feel confident and good about myself.
Then I started having another couple of drinks at home in the evenings when I got back from work – this felt very sophisticated for the working class girl. I met my husband to be and he was a hockey player. His team adopted me as their mascot and I watched just about every game on a Saturday afternoon – after which I was encouraged to drink with the team until we were very drunk.
A Habit
By now my drinking had become a habit – which I enjoyed and really wanted to be part of my day – lunch time and evening drinks, a big session on a Saturday, and civilised Sunday lunchtime drinks at a pub, wine with lunch and evening drinks again before the start of a new working week. My life was going well and I was having fun. I got married.
Drinking Began to Affect My Life in a Negative Way
After 3 years – over a conversation in the pub! My husband persuaded me it was time to start a family and it was likely to take about 6 months to conceive. I realised that no time was going to be ideal. Now was as good as ever so we agreed to let things take their natural course. 2 weeks later we went on a hockey tour to Jersey with drinking round the clock for 4 days. 3 weeks later I discovered I was pregnant.
I must admit I was a bit upset as it stopped me drinking, I lost that baby at 9 weeks – drinking related? It will never be known if it was. But I will never know if it wasn’t. I was sad to lose it though and decided I had to do something about my compulsive alcohol consumption for the next pregnancy. It had begun to affect my life in a negative way.