The wording of the 12 Steps has not been changed, altered or updated in nearly 90 years. This is important in terms of understanding and accepting the way they are written. They were written in America back at the time of prohibition and a God fearing society and they were written as the basis for the founding of Alcoholics Anonymous or AA.  The structure of the 12 Steps and the way that one leads seamlessly on to the next has proven to have helped very many thousands of people lead a life free from addiction. They have therefore been left exactly as they were first written and, due to their tremendous success, they have now been adopted by other support groups such as Cocaine Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous.

The 12 Steps provide a structured and gradual process of Recovery.  They work by helping people to change their addictive thinking which changes their addictive behaviour.  The process of working and understanding the Steps involves firstly accepting you have a problem and are prepared to do something about it by seeking help from others. It leads to living a sober, drug or gambling free responsible life and free from out of control behaviours.

Step 1

We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable

• This first Step is critical as it is based not just on our admitting the problem but we have to cut through the denial and fear and find the honesty to actually accept that we have no control over our addiction. We are unable to find a way forward in regaining our life by our own will power or efforts. A relapse occurs when we change our thinking around this Step to that of us being able to manage our drinking / using and “just the one will not hurt.” 
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Step 2

Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity

• This is the mental realisation that ‘I cannot get well on my own and I need the help of others’.  Identifying those others would include people with a similar addiction who are working a programme of Recovery and not relapsing. We are required to have faith in people with whom we are able and willing to communicate.  This does not include family members or loved ones. It certainly does not have to be a religious God.

Step 3

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him

• This is the where we take action as Step 1 and Step 2 are both thinking Steps.  Step 3 is where we have made the decision, or finally decided, to actually seek help and direction by turning our “will” which is our thinking and “lives” which is our behaviour over to those we have identified in Step 2. This is the Step where we find the humility to actually ask for help.  In fact, by being admitted into a residential addictions rehab unit such as The Haynes Clinic we are starting to work the first 3 Steps:  Step 1 – we are accepting we have a problem; Step 2 – we acknowledge we need professional help; and Step 3 – we have taken the mental and physical action of going somewhere where we acknowledge that people will understand and help us get well  as we can’t on our own. However, once in residential addiction treatment we need to commit to our agreed admission period and not leave early as we suddenly think we feel better and have found the answer.

Step 4

Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. 

• Having had an often medicated alcohol or drugs detox, we will have a clearer mind and also start to feel our emotions. We will not have the chemicals to supress our feelings, so it is at this point that we start to do some soul searching and hand write an honest history and moral inventory of our life to date,  however painful this process may be. We will now be more in touch with our emotions and feelings – such as guilt, shame, sadness, anger and remorse – associated with our past life and addictive actions, thinking and behaviour.

Step 5

Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs

• This is where we sit down with a therapist or possibly our sponsor from our support group and read out what we have written in our honest and soul searching moral inventory about our life from our Step 4 work. This enables us to honestly share the trauma and hurt that our addiction has brought into our life and the lives of those closest to us and to show our vulnerability by openly sharing it with another person.  This person is one who will understand as they have already been through this process  and will not therefore judge us.

Step 6

We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of our character

• Sometimes the hardest aspect of acceptance, now that we are finally in touch with our feelings,  is letting go of the painful memories of the past and accepting that our actions were due to our addictive behaviour and nothing or no one else was to blame. 

Step 7

Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings

• The purpose of this Step is about having a change in attitude, to find humility and thus to be in a mental position to ask for help in addressing problem areas and to be willing to take the direction given. We cannot automatically remove all our defects immediately but even by admitting them and being aware of what needs to change, we can be a constant ‘work in progress’.

Step 8

Made a list of persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all

• This Step helps the addict recognise the damage their drinking, gambling or drug use has caused with a view to possibly rebuilding and mending relationships.  We should not expect that in every case it will be possible to mend a relationship as our past history may have been too damaging for a reconciliation. We need to recognise with this list of people the role that we have played and the times we have used others as our excuse to drink or drug. 

Step 9

Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

• Just because we want to apologise to someone we feel we have hurt does not mean that they are in a position to accept that apology. It may well be that the other person has been hurt so badly that they are not willing to forget.  In addition, sometimes by apologising to someone we can do more harm than good to them – for example, their partner may not be aware of our connection and so it could be damaging to them. In these types of cases we need to respect that and let things be.  It is not being dishonest there is simply no need for us to be pressing our apologies without any care or thought.  For some, just by us maintaining our Recovery (a ‘living amends’’), this is all they want us to do.

Step 10

Continued to take personal inventory and, when we were wrong, promptly admitted it

• This is about maintaining Recovery by being honest with ourself and  about our daily actions, behaviours, attitudes and emotions to ensure we are not reverting back to old addictive ways of thinking and behaving. For example, in early Recovery, going back into a pub or restaurant, or allowing alcohol back into the home, thinking these actions would be OK as we are all right now, would be madness and the start of relapse thinking.

Step 11

Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for the knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

•  Step 11, like Step 3, requires persistent and constant effort particularly in early Recovery. However, it should not be made into a complex matter.  There should be a short period of time either in the morning or before we go to sleep when we spend 10 minutes reflecting on the day. Some  enjoy reading from the books  “A thought for the day” or “Daily Reflections” which offer daily meditation for people in Recovery. There is no right or wrong way of doing Step 11 as long as we take the time in each day for prayer or meditation.

Step 12

Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. 

• Others, in early Recovery, will be able to learn from us that there is a way forward and we can lead by example simply by how we are.  Anyone who is working a solid programme of Recovery is not miserable, they were miserable when drinking or using but now being free from the chains of their addiction are able to regain a life where laughter is genuine.  It is being able to help others on this journey that is fulfilling and being able to then “give something back”

In summary the 12 Steps work because they involve admitting we have a problem, seeking help from others, finding our inner spirit and coming alive, admitting our past wrongs, putting them right and living an honest and good life. They free us up from our past wrongs and enable us to live with a clear conscience each day. We no longer need to ‘escape from our feelings’ using alcohol or a substance. Attending 12 step meetings and seeing newcomers reminds us of how bad our lives used to be; helping those newcomers makes some sense of the painful time we endured.

There is a recommendation that someone starting on their journey working a 12 Step programme should do 90 meetings in 90 days and complete the work on the Steps in 90 days.  This is not necessary as there is no evidence anywhere that this should be the case.  Possibly, in the time when a clinic or addiction rehab was not offering ongoing Aftercare and support, it was critical to get to as many meetings as possible, hence the 90 in 90. With rehab support, having been discharged from treatment, up to an average of 3 meetings a week that are local to your home address is normal. However, if you feel that you need more meetings, then that is also fine.  Completing the written understanding of the Steps is not a race and should be carried out at a speed that that the individual is comfortable with. A relapse will always involve the first 3 Steps as it means:  I have stopped acknowledging I have got a problem, it really wasn’t that bad, I knew who could help me but I don’t need their help.

Going back to that way of thinking is always a miserable and painful experience.