Excuses to relapse
Excuses to relapse – is there ever a reason for it? If you have ever had a problem with alcohol or drugs, you may have come to realise that the only way forward is total abstinence from all mood altering substances. So if your problem was with alcohol, you not only need to stay off alcohol for ever more but avoid any other mood altering substances. Including recreational drugs and certain prescription medication such as codeine and diazepam, for example.
Giving up addictive substances
If your problem was with drugs, you need also to give up alcohol. This is because, as an addict, you could become addicted to anything that affects your mood. And may temporarily make you feel better and help you cope with life. If you have been to rehab, this probably will have been drummed into you.
So, you have been living your life free of alcohol and drugs and almost certainly feeling the benefits. It may be difficult to accept that you can NEVER drink or use again. But you know this is right for you because you feel better. The people you love are happier with you. And you are a more reliable and useful member of society. So you stay clean and sober, the days add up to weeks. The weeks add up to months and the months to years. What can possibly go wrong?
Excuses to relapse
First, it is important that we never forget where we came from. If we do forget how bad our drinking or using was then there is a much greater chance that we will think we can get away with ‘just the one’ or ‘using a bit’. We cannot. If we had an allergy to – say peanuts – just the one would be enough to make us ill. Just the one drink or drug will do the same. We will never get away with it.
This is because our mind works in such a way that if we DO manage to have just the one that day and ‘get away with it’ we will do the same another day – why not try two this time – and very soon I can absolutely guarantee we will be clinging on trying to control it with will power and failing. So we have to always remember how bad it was and one way to do that is to go to 12 Step fellowship meetings – AA, NA etc – and see the struggling and suffering newcomers. (If we also reach out and help them it makes us feel good about ourselves and helps us to make sense of our own experience).
Overcoming the temptation
Second, we need to truly understand that a drink or drug will never make anything better – it will only add to our problems. When I first got sober, I thought it would be hard not to have a celebratory drink at important family occasions. I also thought that I might be tempted to blot out the pain when my mother died.
I can honestly say that on both recent occasions, a drink was far from my mind. When my mother died I did everything I needed to do and supported my family sober. It did not occur to me to have a drink. And when my daughter got married last Summer, I was as happy toasting her with sparkling water as champagne. There was no temptation whatsoever.
So there really is no excuse or reason to relapse if you have truly accepted total abstinence. It will never make anything better, only worse and, once that is ingrained into you, the temptation and desire will be gone.
Read more about the common features of addiction treatments.
