The Serenity Prayer

God, grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can and the wisdom to know the difference.

This is a simple prayer that is used at the end of most Alcoholics Anonymous and other addiction support group meetings (for example Narcotics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous meetings). It did not originate in AA and has been used for centuries by various faiths. Is used today outside the confines of AA, NA and CA. It is a wonderful recipe for a healthy attitude to life.

Have to Accept we are an Alcoholic/Addict

First let us consider it in the context of being an alcoholic or addict. We have to accept the big thing we cannot change in our lives – we are an alcoholic or an addict. We cannot ever change that any more than we can change the colour of our skin, our height, the fact that we have a particular blood group etc etc.  Cannot get younger however much we may wish it. So we accept that we cannot change this and cannot ever drink again. Acceptance brings a kind of freedom.

What we can change is our drinking. We can choose not to drink ourselves to a miserable death but to stop drinking. That does take courage as many of us cannot envisage how we will ever get through our daily lives without drink. In the end we find the courage because the alternative (the misery of our drinking or using) has become too much and drives us to it. And as our recovery gets stronger and we get further away from that last drink, we find the wisdom to know that this is what is best and right for us and that we need to keep on this sober course.

Strength and Help

We can find strength and help from the Serenity Prayer in the rest of the way we live our lives. We have to accept the things we cannot change. I am powerless over other people, places and things. My partner decided to end our relationship – I could not force him to want to continue in a relationship in which he was not happy. I recently went to South Africa and was delayed by fog at/Heathrow so missed my connecting flight in Zurich, meaning 24 hours added to my journey and going via Nairobi and Johannesburg rather than direct to Cape Town from Zurich. There was nothing I could do about it apart from accept it and be philosophical.

I could only have the wisdom to know I couldn’t change either of these things but only my reaction to them. I could wallow in pain in the former case or see what I had gained from being free of the relationship and move on with my life (by reacting with dignity I am still best of friends with my ex-partner and we have a relationship on a different basis which I can see in some ways suits me better and fits in more with the needs of my family).

Serenity – Recovery Is an Amazing Experience

I am also free to see other men when I choose to. In the case of my journey, instead of an overnight flight. I spent a few hours getting some much needed sleep and enjoyed reading a lot. I might have rather done this on a beach in Camps Baybut it was not the end of the world. There are many worse things to worry about and something positive can come out of just about everything in life.

Addiction recovery is such an amazing experience!

The Haynes Clinic is an alcohol, gambling and drug addiction rehab clinic which offers detox and counselling for people with addictions. It follows the Twelve Step Programme of recovery.

Call 01462 851414 for free and confidential advice.