Here is an example of one type…. the successful driven woman who ended up in a rehab clinic
I never thought I would end up in a rehab clinic. Me, the successful one, that everyone believed had it all. Successful career, lovely home, pleasant husband and 4 good looking healthy children. Where did it all go wrong? How had I come to this?
As I sat in my room on that first day in a clinic. I felt sorry for myself and without any sense of direction. It was all so unlike me though if truth be known I had been struggling to keep it together for a long time. My drinking had started as such good fun – but when had the fun become a habit? And when had the habit started to take more from me than it gave?
I am not one of those alcoholics who had a difficult early life, with lots of reasons for drinking to mask the pain of life events. Quite the opposite really. I had a happy childhood and a loving and stable background. I had a good relationship with my parents, brothers and sister. We had family holidays which we all enjoyed. There was no abuse or violence in my background. Although my parents sometimes struggled to make ends meet and we knew the value of money and not wasting resources or running up bills, as children, my sister, brothers and I was not even really aware that we were any worse off than most other people we mixed with. Our parents worked long hours and hard. They were good times.
Childhood
Looking back though, there was something in me even at a very young age which set me on course for the person I was to become and developed the characteristics that eventually led me down the path to alcoholism. That is, I wanted to be noticed and to make something of myself. As the third of four children, with busy hard working parents, there was not a lot of attention available for me.
My older sister was considered vibrant, chatty and attractive. Older brother was a good solid character with a great sense of humour and he was popular with both the boys and girls. My younger brother was the molly coddled baby. And me? Well I was in the middle, a sturdy child, mousy, not dark like my older brother and sister, and without the blond ‘curly top’ of my younger brother. I was a bit left out – and I even once overheard my mother saying this was so to her cousin.
So how was I to get noticed? I could not change my position in the birth order and nor could I change my looks. But I did have some talents which I discovered quite early on at school. Academically I was bright and I was soon able to prove myself by coming top of the class in the annual tests every year at primary school (though when I was around 9 I was joined for one year by a precocious boy who dared to come ‘first equal’ with me!). I loved the competition at school – so long as I could win it. So I did not like sports day when I would be lucky to even finish the races in the middle of the group.
Prove Myself
So academically I was able to prove myself ‘better’ than my brothers and sisters. Eventually this led me to be the first child in our family to go to university. This was in the days when only 5% of school leavers went to university and as a product of an ordinary comprehensive school I was very much in the minority. This was not enough for me though. As a child I was encouraged to do other activities outside school. So I passed my grade 6 piano (because my sister passed grade 5) and I completed my Queen’s Guide and Duke of Edinburgh gold award. I started to get the recognition I craved.
Attention
When I was 15 my sister married, my brother went to college. Suddenly I was the oldest of two at home and at last I got that attention. My mother even acknowledged that at last I blossomed and came into my own. I saw it as at last being given some air time! But in hindsight I can now see that my character had developed such that it was on course for what was to come later. The driven person, seeking success and perfection and unable to cope when she eventually failed to achieve her own standards.
But compulsive drinking is a trap that many fall into – with many different backgrounds and at many different ages.
Call the Haynes Clinic for help today on 01462 851414
